First, I discovered Non Violent Communication through a couple of books Then, I started to use it empirically.
Day after day, I witness how powerful and enriching this process really is, both in my relationships and communication at work or in my personal life. It is simple to grasp, yet not always easy to master !
But the jewels you will find both in you an in others through the NVC process is worth trying, one step at a time.
From the NVC website, it says :
«Nonviolent Communication contains nothing new. It is based on historical principles of nonviolence– the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. NVC reminds us what we already instinctively know about how good it feels to authentically connect to another human being.
With NVC we learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC helps us discover the depth of our own compassion. This language reveals the awareness that all human beings are only trying to honor universal values and needs, every minute, every day.
NVC can be seen as both a spiritual practice that helps us see our common humanity, using our power in a way that honors everyone’s needs, and a concrete set of skills which help us create life-serving families and communities.
The form is simple, yet powerfully transformative.
Through the practice of NVC, we can learn to clarify what we are observing, what emotions we are feeling, what values we want to live by, and what we want to ask of ourselves and others. We will no longer need to use the language of blame, judgment or domination. We can experience the deep pleasure of contributing to each others’ well being.
NVC creates a path for healing and reconciliation in its many applications, ranging from intimate relationships, work settings, health care, social services, police, prison staff and inmates, to governments, schools and social change organizations.«
NVC helps us to connect to what is alive within us and within others, moment by moment.
NVC is about reaching win-win situations for both parties with reach other’s needs fulfilled.
I would encourage you to have look at the detailed process here.
Very simple and as you will see when you start experiencing it, very powerful !
NVC can be used effectively in situations of conflicts, tensions, misunderstanding, mediation where creative new solutions will be able to emerge.
Most of the time, we disagree on HOW (the strategies) we fulfill our needs, not the needs themselves, which are identical !
Once you experience we all have identical needs, communication starts to become a lot more peaceful and compassionate.